Stupid Me Of The Cursed Coins

As I drag my body through empty gloom
This crowded world just seems to loom
All over my anguished self
And I feel like such an elf

Walking like I'm so special
Nobody seems to see the perpetual
Angst of this idiotic thing that beats in my chest
I just want to break all the goody goody walls n give it a rest

Its sickening to see
This cowardice of me
I will not stop you 'cause I can't
I will not chase you even if that's all i want

This has gone on too long
This sort of feeling I cannot prolong
Every time I fall, I get up again
But this time even if I get up, I will have a stain

I don't care anymore, for God's mercy
Or the devil's curses,the pain I have will be there to see
Even if i get all the other things in this life
Now I won't ever take them for granted without any strife

Happiness and pain are two sides of a coin, I tossed around dimes,
It just so happens that one side falls the wrong way,one too many times,
So I toss all my coins in the air,
'Cause now it doesn't matter which sides on top, I'll always be in despair

I want to laugh for all the stupidity in me,
I want you to laugh too,when you'll see
That I threw all my coins so quickly
And didn't wait to see if what I had thought can be true,so easily...